Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Avoiding Politics

So, I hate politics. I mean I try to be educated and everything and vote, but I hate talking to others about my political views. No matter what party you or the other person are it always ends in yelling/crying/eye rolling/declarations of war. Once a person told me that the person I was voting for "ate babies". Political talks always go way down hill in logic the longer they are talked about.

 Besides politics for the most part aren't very interesting to me, I'd rather talk about why the school of zombie thought where the person is actually dead and then is reanimated is dying out. (Why is that? It's all about the virus that makes you crazy and breaks you down until you're dead now.) I'm not even going to tell you which political party I vote for because that is not the point.

The point is that the parties all have one very big thing in common, one thing that brings us all together. They both send way too many annoying emails and call me way too many times. Recently they've actually had real people on the phones which makes me feel a little bad when I hang up on them. So, I've decided to come up with someone ways to get them to hang up on me.

1) (The most logical answer) Tell them I am the opposite party of whatever they are.

2) I can't vote for anyone else because I am also running for President. I'll explain that while I'm legally too young to do that, my 10 cats/campaign managers tell me that we can find a loophole.

3) Tell them that I don't believe in Presidents and I'm currently working to get the US back under British control. Monarchy is so in right now.

4) I'm voting for Batman

5) I'm no longer allowed to vote because of that whole Darth Vader cult incident.

6) I was born on leap year so I'm actually not old enough to vote.

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Random Opinions on Random Things

1. Looks wise (I swear if anyone leaves a political comment because of this I will force you to listen to Rebecca Black for years), I think Rick Santorum is about halfway to becoming the white version of Bill Cosby. Those vests just need to grow sleeves. 

2. I refuse to watch Green Lantern for two reasons. One, it's a superhero movie with Ryan Reynolds that isn't Deadpool. Also, in what universe is it believable that Blake Lively is a excellent pilot and business woman? 

3. Someone that I know used the phrase 'Oh my Shire' to comment about the Hobbit movie the other day. That doesn't even make sense. Yes substituting other words in place of God is common practice, but it should be the same type of noun. God is a person noun and Shire is a place noun. Oh my Hobbits would make much more sense. 

4. People who read comic books really should never make fun of people who watch soap operas. They are basically the same thing except one has a lot more spandex. 

5. I am both excited and disturbed that so many young girls love the Hunger Games. The squeeing over the romance is a little creepy. 

6. Eerie, Indiana is one of the best shows ever. Why didn't it last longer? SIX SEASONS AND A MOVIE!

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Things I hate Part 2


Apparently I did something wrong and deleted all the comments on this blog. This is bad and weird of me. I should learn to be a better computery person. 

In which I list things I hate

So I haven't updated this in awhile, mainly because I only think of clever things to say in the seconds before I fall asleep. If I could blog only with my brain then this thing would be at least twice as popular as it is now. Anyway, I lot of things have been annoying me lately and I'm going to list them.


The are basically the most evil fruit known to mankind. They taste like old people which most people think is a weird description, but trust me it makes sense. Don't eat them, don't encourage them, just throw them in a hole and set them on fire.


I have no idea why, but it might have something to do with having seen that whale trailer about 2 gabillzillion times this week. So many times that I had to make up a new made up number. It's making me hate the whales, I want to kill all the whales just to make that trailer stop.


They don't even sound pretty and leggings aren't pants.


I will stop hating them when they stop emailing me 30 times a week. I know it's election time-ish, but you can't possible have that much to tell me. Weirdly, the Republicans haven't emailed me once.


Can we just agree that it's an ugly color? It is, stop trying to make it work.

Monday, December 5, 2011

The Transformation into a Boring Person is Complete

I haven't updated on here for awhile, mostly because nothing interesting has happened to me. Most of my interesting things have been more in the 'They should give my friends a reality show so that they can catfight for money' type of category. I tend to not write about them because even thinking about the events makes me want to built an evil robot army to destroy them all.

In other news, I now have 10 people following this blog. This basically makes me internet famous right? Right. Next up on my list is to be real famous for being famous. This has always been a dream of mine. By dream I mean, it seemed like a good idea after that whole being a trophy wife thing didn't work out. I'll be the new Paris Hilton. Actually I'd probably be the new version of whoever was the new Paris Hilton because she's very 5 years ago. (I've already got the lingo down!) Is she even still alive?

Now I just need a catchphrase. 'That's Mildly Lukewarm!'

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Salad Fluffer Returns

She was back, pretty sure it was the same one. Stop that, you don't need to fluff chocolate pudding. Why do they even put chocolate pudding in a salad bar?


Yesterday while wandering around town doing errands I realized something. At that moment the whole town smelled like cheese. Not good cheese. Melty, mac and cheese sort of smell, but that really ripe and strong cheese that very few people eat. Like those European countries that we never invite over to dinner.

I thought it was just over by the quilt store, it was the strongest there. A block over is some sort of plant that burns trash and we thought it was that, but everywhere I went the cheese smell followed. To Target, to the Library, and even over by my dorm. I feel like my town is at least big enough that one plant wouldn't make the whole place smell like cheese. We are becoming that country that no one wants to invite to dinner because we smell like cheese. Or that creepy kid on the playground.